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Tuesday, July 5th 2005

4:04 PM

Russian astrologist proves she's a fraud

In a desperate bid to win $300 MILLION American dollars, quack Russian astrologist Marina Bai has sued Nasa in a Russian court (as if that would actually have any legal authority over the American space program's bank account).

Russian newspaper Izvestia reported that Ms. Bai is upset that NASA launched the probe that smashed into the comet Temple 1, claiming the Deep Impact probe "ruins the natural balance of forces in the universe."

Scientists stressed that the impact did not significantly alter the comet's orbit (around the sun), and the scientific experiment, that scientists hope will help show how the universe was formed, would not pose any risk to Earth.

Bai's lawsuit is for... get this... MORAL SUFFERING! How bloody Brilliant. Now all morally inclined Republicans can sue Democrats for their "Moral Suffering" in regard to legal abortion. And Liberals can sue Republicans on the grounds of "Moral Suffering" for the tax cuts.

I propose that Ms. Bai has proven herself a fraud, and is therefore not entitled to any monetary award, including any sum set aside for her psychological treatment in a professional mental facility, because a real astrologist would know Temple 1 has no bearing on the astrological chart.

If she were a legit astologist (or even had an IQ higher than that of the moon dust that resulted from the probe's collision with the comet) she would also know that, using her theory of "natural balance disruptus", every space rock brought back to earth (by her country's astronauts and mine), would have upset the natural balance of the universe, as would every space shuttle or sattelite sent into orbit, and astrology would have been toast decades ago.

I submit that Ms. Bai is merely an unsuccessful astrologist - and perhaps a bit loony besides -- who is looking for some free advertising to boost her business at the least, or is hoping to get rich off the American taxpayer's back at worst, and therefore her lawsuit should be dismissed as a frivilous waste of the Russian court's time and Russian and American taxpayer money.

I also submit that should NASA be forced to defend itself against Ms. Bai's frivilous claim, that Ms. Bai and the Russian government be held financially responsible for all court costs, attorney fees and travel expenses incurred by the Defendant.

Respectfully submitted,

Elizabeth Butler, US citizen who's mightily weary of her tax dollars being spent every time some nut files a stupidass lawsuit.

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